otherwise delightful

hacienda motel

2012-02-01T09:10:00.000-08:00

in the world of indie music, i am super late to the game. but for those other, normal people who are always asking me to introduce you to new music, here is an up-and-coming seattle band "pickwick" and a few of their best songs, including my favorite, "hacienda motel". his voice is incredible. enjoy! The 2011 Doe Bay Sessions - Pickwick from Sound on the Sound on Vimeo.

current obsession: downton abbey

2012-01-21T13:18:00.000-08:00

the abc's of downton abbey: accents. betrayal. class system. drama. envy. friendship. generosity. horses. infidelity. justice. kindness. love. melodrama. nobility. order. passion. questionable decisions. revolution. scandal. tension. unspoken desires. vengeance. world war. xenophobia. youth. zeal. (i may or may not have watched the entire first season during The Great Seattle Snow Storm of 2012.

from a dear friend, who knows about grief

2011-12-15T15:09:00.000-08:00

From Kahlil Gibran's "Joy and Sorrow" Your joy is your sorrow unmasked. And the selfsame well from which your laughter rises was oftentimes filled with your tears. And how else can it be? The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain. Is not the cup that holds your wine the very cup that was burned in the potter's oven? And is not the lute that soothes your spirit,

already is to freedom as not yet is to relief

2011-11-28T20:12:00.000-08:00

hey guys, some of you know that i am a part of a teaching team at my church, awake. (here's some context.) i preached this past sunday and wanted to share what i wrote with you. see below for the transcript. being relatively new to this whole homiletics thing (this was my sixth sermon), i would be honored by any thoughts you have in response. i'm thankful as ever to belong to a community who

every day do something that won't compute

2011-11-26T18:00:00.000-08:00

God bless Wendell Berry. And God bless Tim Tetrault who read this at my church last week and got me thinking. Manifesto: The Mad Farmer Liberation Front by Wendell Berry Love the quick profit, the annual raise, vacation with pay. Want more of everything ready-made. Be afraid to know your neighbors and to die. And you will have a window in your head. Not even your future will be a mystery

jealous?

2011-11-23T22:18:00.000-08:00

Thanksgiving Day Menu at Chez Canlis Roasted Turkey with Gravy Brown Butter & Scallion Mashed Potatoes Balsamic Braised Brussels with Pancetta Sweet Potatoes with Blue Cheese & Pecans Fresh Cornbread Casserole Harvest Salad with Cranberries & Goat Cheese Rosemary Bread Apple Pie with Vanilla Ice Cream

where are the girl pastors?

2011-10-17T19:02:00.000-07:00

the other day at my church, we were sort of "christening" a new pastor. he is an incredible man who has led our church unofficially for so long and his commission is well deserved. the other two pastors were up at the front with him. all three pastors are dear friends of mine and very good, godly men who i am honored to be led by. a few seats to my left, a five year old boy whispered to his

when it costs too much to love

2011-10-01T18:41:00.000-07:00

i am currently interning as a therapist at a treatment facility for individuals struggling with eating disorders. this is difficult, beautiful, intricate, and saddening work. men and women who struggle with eating disorders cope with their most excruciating psychological pain in the physical realm, considering the high cost of death a viable option in light of what lies within. these people are

the dark and the light

2011-09-28T15:56:00.000-07:00

this blog has been more "otherwise" than "delightful" lately, and for that i am (not very) sorry. and yet. it has been lacking a sort of balance, the broader picture of my life and times. surely, my heart has been filled with aching, with nuanced feelings that only prose can effectively hold. but also, there have been laughs and moments of ease. i want this blog to reflect my life as fully as it

on despair

2011-09-21T01:46:00.000-07:00

today at 11:15 am, i felt despair and cried. today at 6:45 pm, i saw despair in another and trembled. despair is a precise and real -ly tricky thing (paradoxical unbearable essential) how sorrowful to spy it in the face of its carrier how helpless we are in its wake in my deepest despair, i find myself rattling and spinning and yet - fuller and more gloriously alive than any easy moment ever

theme song

2011-09-14T11:52:00.000-07:00

(You are my desire) Today I dared imagine that you are alive That your heart is full of blood and hiccups along with mine That you are not listless at all, but vibrantly, terribly alive You whom I have (never fully) held You whom I only fathom the risk of reaching for You, my desire, are fickle in posture And endlessly restless Wandering from moment to baffling moment Coming in bursts and

you never know

2011-09-14T00:02:00.000-07:00

a swirling fantastical haze at once murky and precise in its movement round my skull and in my chest cavity. consuming and unknowable i anyway take my scalpel and try to cut (that which blares invisible) the tension as they say, but it will not be punctured we walk as familiar strangers, smiling and terrified, never to utter a word never, not ever easy laughter meaning full and meaning less

like butter. achy, raspy butter.

2011-09-04T00:43:00.000-07:00

on this fine seattle day, i took in a ray lamontagne show, and my oh my is his voice something. like dupioni silk or a summer thunder storm, his voice conveys depth of emotion while remaining effortless and almost ethereal. i want to employ him as my personal lullabier, or perhaps pay him just to keep his songwriting just between us, since his lyrics seem to capture my innermost thoughts with

an anthropological epic in disguise

2011-09-02T16:12:00.000-07:00

i have seen 'rise of the planet of the apes' twice now. TWICE. in the theater! i mean, seriously. now granted, i LOVED peter jackson's king kong to bits. movies about primates seem to have a shortcut to my tear ducts. and jurassic park was the feature presentation on many a friday night in the 90s. movies about people playing god and that not working out so well are pretty tried and true. but '

a tragic observation

2011-08-27T19:02:00.000-07:00

today i walked by a woman who was dressed crisply in a blouse and pencil skirt. between her hem and her kitten heels bulged shapely calf muscles, so rotund that they were noticeable from a distance. her knees were in their place, her ankles dainty. but my first thought was, 'wow, poor woman. what huge calves. i bet she hates them.' WHYWHYWHY why do we compare each woman we see against an

free-style wanting

2011-08-19T00:59:00.000-07:00

i want, i want. i want to write. i was rummaging through some old files and boxes today and stumbled upon a journal entry or short story or word-vomitous musing that i wrote a few years back. despite a certain number of flaws, there was something very good there. vivid imagery, visceral longing and despair, keen observations, and playful word choices. i want to write more. just write what is

the art of ridding oneself of distractions

2011-08-06T13:30:00.000-07:00

totally stolen from dear heather marie - and totally worth it. (i needed to see this today.)

Jacob & His Blessings

2011-07-31T17:27:00.000-07:00

i preached my fourth sermon ever today. for those who don't know, i have the honor of serving as a 1 of 6 teachers at my church. it has been a truly blessed experience and also remarkably anxiety-provoking. a sermon is unlike any other form of communication; it's not an academic paper, a business presentation, or a blog entry. it is personal but should be well-researched. its aim is for the

she likes to roll in death

2011-07-26T16:42:00.000-07:00

she likes to roll in death the stench does not deter her – she wants to be covered in it a smile on her face so wide the whole world could fit in it a panorama of contentment she is as her matter suggests: soft and hard and softer still. her flesh as delicate, velvety rose petals her hair smelling like graham crackers and melted butter. her insides composed elegantly, deliberately a complex

(s)tree(t) of c(roc)od(il)es

2011-07-20T19:28:00.000-07:00

i've mentioned this book before, but now i return to you having read it. [my beloved husband read my blog and went out and got on a 3-month long waiting list, gifting me with it on a random tuesday. i think he loves me.] as for "tree of codes" i'll tell you this: i've never read anything like it. at first, it reads rather awkwardly. they should sell it with a companion blank page to insert

hilarity: haute cuisine menu translations

2011-07-11T01:24:00.000-07:00

yesterday, i dined at a very schmancy restaurant in san sebastian, spain. it is one of the best restaurants in the world, touting 3 michelin stars and a truly stunning line-up of delectable culinary creations. they kindly offered us an english menu, and for the most part, the menu was helpful and informative. in certain parts, however, i couldn't help but wonder what might have gotten lost in

to hear and not understand. to imagine.

2011-07-10T02:21:00.000-07:00

I lay here surrounded by sand and foreign noises. I wish I could do this with English: to hear only the tone, the quality of the vibrato rather than the meaning. Could I turn off my ability to understand and achieve this anonymous perceptivity? Could I, on an American beach, recreate this fantastically imaginative capacity to hear and not know? I lay here and speculate about their

le sigh.

2011-06-22T10:01:00.000-07:00

in 48 hours, i will be on a plane. destination: paris. we'll then take a train to the south of france, where we'll board our boat and sail a river for an entire week. next stop: barcelona… … followed by san sebastian. I COULD NOT BE MORE EXCITED. (well. maybe i could - if i didn't still have two 8-page papers to write.) as i imagine myself in exotic locales, i imagine myself in adorable

it costs so much to be a full human being

2011-06-20T10:49:00.000-07:00

"yesterday i met a whole man. it is a rare experience, but always an illuminating and ennobling one. it costs so much to be a full human being that there are very few who have the enlightenment, or the courage, to pay the price. one has to abandon altogether the search for security, and reach out to the risk of living with both arms. one has to embrace the world like a lover, and yet demand no

(almost) summer listening

2011-06-15T22:49:00.000-07:00

a smattering of my current listening. some obvious ones, some oddities, and some old school gems. it's helping me get through the EIGHT DAYS UNTIL I LEAVE FOR EUROPE. eeeee! enjoy! sorry for the more melancholy picks. i think it's this persistently gray june that's getting to me. i'll try to post another (pure fun!) summer music collection. after all, music is one of the most important ways

summer love

2011-06-09T22:19:00.000-07:00

last night i watched 'the notebook'. what was i thinking, you ask? i ask too. but that movie, in all its cheese and corn, is just plain lovely. the romance depicted between allie and noah is one that many (most? all?) of us have craved: the kind of the love that makes time stop, filled with play and passion and, yes, lots of memorable lines. allie is vibrant, her emotions running the gamut.

otherwise delightful go-do's

2011-06-07T12:59:00.001-07:00

things you should check out: read this fascinating and oh-so-true article about technology and the human psyche shop at this site chock full of stinkin' cute dresses and the like sign up for this newsletter to be notified about huge interior design sales watch the first live episode of this show tonight (june 7) for truly enjoyable television programming buy this album for heartfelt lyrics and

music! discovery! squared!

2011-06-01T09:23:00.000-07:00

sas-QUATCH!

2011-05-27T09:34:00.000-07:00

this time tomorrow, i will be making like thelma and louise with my dear friend ashlee… road-tripping our way to the beautiful gorge… … with nary a memory of my present moment, which involes sitting in 'research and statistics' class, amid sleeping students under florescent lights. sasquatch is an annual outdoor music festival with some of my favorite bands and I AM SO EXCITED! here is the

"of love"

2011-05-24T21:36:00.000-07:00

i have been in love more times than one, thank the lord. sometimes it was lasting whether active or not. sometimes it was all but ephemeral, maybe only an afternoon, but not less real for that. they stay in my mind, these beautiful people, or anyway beautiful people to me, of which there are so many. You, and you, and you, whom i had the fortune to meet, or maybe missed. love, love, love, it was

ROTFLMAO (or something)

2011-05-15T21:04:00.000-07:00

i saw bridesmaids last night and it is a rollicking good time!!! seriously, see it. you'll like it. unless you don't like laughing. then don't see it for sure.

high schoolers are hi-larious

2011-05-15T01:30:00.000-07:00

this list has been circulating the internet like a book that gets passed around a lot between friends. enjoy this collection of deliriously silly analogies, allegedly written by high school students. Her eyes were like two brown circles with big black dots in the center. He was as tall as a 6′3″ tree. Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides gently compressed by a Thigh

the power of words

2011-05-14T15:02:00.000-07:00

Announcing: The Seattle School

2011-05-13T17:41:00.000-07:00

if you know me or you've read my blog at all, you know i am in graduate school, earning my MA in counseling psychology. my school, Mars Hill Graduate School, is changing its name! while this may seem like an unusual thing for a graduate institution to do - just switch monikers after 13 years of trying to get the word out - it is actually a really brilliant and necessary decision. i do love the

current reading

2011-05-13T16:36:00.000-07:00

The Principles of Uncertainty, by Maira Kalman. my two favorite pages so far: one whimsical... one heart-wrenchingly true...

my theology prof's response to a paper i wrote about the spiritual aspects of eating disorders

2011-05-05T14:26:00.001-07:00

Love by George Herbert Love bade me welcome: yet my soul drew back, Guilty of dust and sin. But quick-eyed Love, observing me grow slack From my first enter in. Drew nearer to me, sweetly questioning, If I lacked anything. A guest, I answered, worthy to be here: Love said, You shall

martha, martha.

2011-04-16T19:00:00.000-07:00

those of us who've spent much time reading the bible (or being around those who do) are likely familiar with the question: 'are you a mary or a martha?' and we also know the only decent answer: mary. martha has been given a bad rap, she bears for us all the parts of ourselves we disown. the church (somewhat fairly given the biblical depiction) has pinned mary and martha against one another in a

a little something(s)

2011-04-15T12:16:00.000-07:00

The Moon And The Sky (Remix Featuring JAY Z) by SadeOfficial (super mixed messages about gender, but pretty awesome sound.)

ready for the real world?

2011-04-10T01:43:00.000-07:00

i was asked to contribute something to my school's blog. check it out! i wrote about the anxiety of internship. let me explain. the structure of my master's program is that the final of three years at school is spent off campus serving as an intern at a clinical site, where one actually counsels clients. i secured my 12-month, 20 hour/week internship at the moore center for eating disorders.

that i am a woman, that i am a man

2011-04-09T17:44:00.000-07:00

my friend eric just composed this incredible this american life-style audio montage of mars hill graduate school students answering the intentionally ambiguous questions, "what does it mean that you are a woman?" and "what does it mean that you are a man?" he stumbled on some stunning gems of answers, as the respondants (i'm one!) engaged the gender issue personally, culturally and spiritually.

this is me.

2011-04-05T10:56:00.000-07:00

Not literally. Figuratively. Finals. See you in a week or two.

delights of the day

2011-03-31T12:00:00.000-07:00

The Civil Wars[Music | Beauty] This incredible new alt-country/folk band is sweeping the music scene. It seems nearly everyone I know is listening to them so I finally purchased their album "Barton Hollow". It did not disappoint! Truly soulful and thoroughly listenable, their voices dance around each other and remind us of what is best about music: it is alive and can transform moments of life

link list wednesday

2011-03-23T13:45:00.000-07:00

just kidding, i don't post links on wednesdays. i was just trying to give the appearance of a) cleverness and b) consistency. anyhow, here are some things you probably need to look at: "find a girl who reads." (smile) color me green (feel inspired) damn you auto-correct! (laugh out loud) probably the single most hilarious blooper reel of all time (roll on the floor laughing - NSFW) band walks

love wins - but what does that mean?

2011-03-19T15:31:00.000-07:00

i'm a pretty big fan of rob bell. he's an adjunct professor at my grad school and his book velvet elvis revitalized my faith in a profound way. bell has written a new book called love wins: heaven, hell, and the fate of every person who ever lived. i haven't read it yet but it is getting a TON of press. bell has taken a stance on a very difficult issue: salvation. who will go to heaven and who

SXSW: pt. 2

2011-03-15T17:10:00.000-07:00

the saga continues… [for previous entry, click here.] we did end up at uchiko saturday night and my oh my was it divine. we sat at the bar and received fantastic service. then there's the food: it was truly progressive sushi that packed a punch. the sweets were even more adventurous than the savory, the kind of desserts you might find at a 4 star restaurant in NYC. here's our feast: grilled

SXSW: pt. 1

2011-03-12T19:06:00.000-08:00

here i am in austin, texas. south by southwest is a festival of epic proportions. it's sundance film festival meets lollapalooza meets comic-con. okay, well maybe not THAT big but it's pretty big. 20,000 people have descended upon austin, which is widely regarded the least texan city in texas. this comes as a huge relief to me because i am unapologetically wary of texas in general, what with

March(AM+RH) / 37 x 2 = !!

2011-03-12T12:21:00.000-08:00

Could this be the best month for music ever? Two of my favorites released new albums this month: Alexi Murdoch and my true love Radiohead. I've given them both a full listen (or three) and am happy to report - both albums are certifiably delightful. (Strangely, both albums run exactly 37 minutes each. Magic number?) Alexi Murdoch Towards the Sun, Alexi Murdoch The wait for Alexi Murdoch's

man, i have good taste

2011-03-09T23:08:00.000-08:00

so you know iTunes genius analyzes your musical tastes and creates a dozen playlists according to what you have the most of? (i know, right?? i love technology.) my genius playlists are revealing and, pardon my pride, pretty fantastic. listening to these mixes is the best because every song that comes on, i go, "oh my gosh, i love this song!" and then i realize how silly i am and THEN i get back

sweet tooth

2011-03-05T13:39:00.000-08:00

i am normally not a dessert girl. i'll take french fries over brownies any day. all this nonsense about certain people (you know who you are) becoming utterly ravenous for chocolate, like murderous? no thank you. salt, salt, salt. burgers. fries. sandwiches. pasta. cheese. butter. salt! GIVE ME SAVORY OR GIVE ME DEATH. ("death by chocolate" perhaps? hm, that worked out nicely.) anyhoo, that

oh my darling

2011-03-04T15:52:00.000-08:00

oh my darling… … oh my darling clementine! [pssst! i am now an auntie seven times over and i am over the moon.] my neice clementine marie is absolutely, well, darling: i am already performing my auntly duties with wit and charm. behold, the first of many namesake knick knacks from yours truly: welcome to the world baby girl. sorry for the gushing, but get used to it. you are beloved.

thank you!!

2011-03-02T13:54:00.000-08:00

we won! (well, chef jason won. and he deserved it.) thank you endlessly to those who supported jason... and canlis... and me. we are all thrilled and overwhelmed with gratitude and excitement. here's proof positive and here are some links to the amazing press canlis has gotten as a result: Eater Queen Anne Review Seattle Weekly Seattlest so thank you, thank you.

oh canada!

2011-02-20T19:25:00.000-08:00

i write this from a lovely little boutique hotel room in vancouver. there is something in the air here. it is simple goodness, or perhaps ease. the people seem kinder than elsewhere in the world. perhaps it is that feeling of walking into a totally standard pub and having earnest hockey fans rahhh-ing at every goal. not to mention hilarious american car and beer companies marketing directly to

if you love me at all...

2011-02-15T16:31:00.000-08:00

…you'll vote! vote, vote, vote. Canlis chef Jason Franey is up for a very important (nay, essential) award and we want it so bad we can taste it. Food & Wine Magazine, Best New Chef in America. there are some amazing people on this list but none hold a candle to our Jason. so vote. yes? yes! so much fun. so easy. scroll, click, vote. (thanks - i love you too.) *** CLICK HERE TO VOTE ***

2011 discovery: breakfast

2011-02-14T00:37:00.000-08:00

BREAKFAST! as an avid spleeper-inner, i have long been missing out on one of the greatest events of the everyday. breakfast. in case you don't yet know - it's amazing! it's a meal in which one has a good excuse to be quiet and introspective (it takes place at an ungodly hour). this means it is acceptable to read at the table. brilliant! more importantly, it's a meal that features my favorite

how do i study when this just arrived in the mail??

2011-02-12T18:49:00.000-08:00

HERE IS A SMALL FACTYou are going to die. 1939. Nazi Germany. The country is holding its breath. Death has never been busier. Liesel, a nine-year-old girl is living with a foster family on Himmel Street. Her parents have been taken away to a concentration camp. Liesel steals books. This is her story and the story of the inhabitants of her street when the bombs begin to

in the dirt & in the stream

2011-02-12T17:42:00.000-08:00

a dear friend introduced me to s. carey and i am so much better for it. s. carey made a name for himself as bon iver's drummer and "all we grow" is his solo debut. ummmm… YES. here are my two favorite songs from "all we grow". you can listen to the album in its entirety here or read an interview with the man himself here. you're welcome.

it was the sound of a crescendo

2011-01-28T12:36:00.000-08:00

i have always loved this song and now it has been reinvented once more. i love it. delightfully unexpected and appropriately intense. man… cellos are so cool. and why NOT make cellists wear leather jackets and play angrily at each other in an empty room? reveal them as the mad men they are!

wholeheartedness

2011-01-22T13:56:00.000-08:00

i am shamelessly stealing this TEDx talk from a friend but it is just that good. brene brown is a researcher-storyteller and an author - as well as an advocate of the rich and authentic human experience. check out her remarkable work here. (let it be known that if i was on facebook, i would have just shared it there, but alas… see the post below.)

housecleaning

2011-01-19T18:32:00.000-08:00

my name is rebecca and i'm an addict. things i am not addicted to: alcohol, drugs, food, sex, shopping, cigarettes. something i am addicted to: relational busyness. i don't know how to talk about this because it sounds so silly, so privileged. it's like, "oooh, what a terrible problem to have, too many friends." especially when social isolation is a reality for so many whom i know and love.

paradise sought

2011-01-15T16:44:00.000-08:00

Henri J.M. Nouwen, from Life of the Beloved: I know that the fact that I am always searching for God, always struggling to discover the fullness of love, always yearning for the complete truth, tells me that I have already been given a taste of God, of Love and of Truth. I can only look for something that I have, to some degree, already found. How can I search for beauty and truth unless that

too much

2011-01-09T15:44:00.000-08:00

it is no secret that i love me some sufjan. when i saw his show last october, i was BLOWN AWAY, not only by his newly experimental/electronic sound, but by the frenetic and inspiring visuals. the video below played as he sang "too much" and it mesmerized me. i am so thankful they decided to release it as a video. ENJOY.

making my eardrums happy

2011-01-08T21:42:00.000-08:00

here is a sampling of the music that is currently being repeated (and repeated) on my speakers. also - have you ever used grooveshark? umm. free. easy. and FREE. the skinny on the list: mushaboom (k-os mix) ... firstly, i love feist endlessly. secondly, this remix is endlessly listenable. emphasis on endless. the mood ... leah got me hooked on this track. strangely seductive and maniacal

cold weather = film extravaganza

2010-12-30T23:09:00.000-08:00

seen: Quite intelligent and whimsically frank, yet… something is missing. Still - worth a view for sure. I liked this! A mature and realistic romantic comedy. Rare. This was a favor to Brian. I can't handle Tom Cruise. Mindless fun but just as terrible as you might imagine. I LOVED this movie in the theaters and actually wanted to see it again. A first rate thriller. Boredom led

that's just mad!

2010-12-30T11:42:00.000-08:00

since apparently my blog actually gets read and provides fuel for gift ideas - thanks dad! - i thought i would post (with a lifted shoulder and a blush) an early birthday present idea (7-11 baby). behold: the coolest book ever. about: from the author of "extremely loud and incredibly close" comes another groundbreaking example of visual literature. author jonathan safran foer took his

practice of poetry: entry #4

2010-12-29T00:25:00.000-08:00

(off the charts) My goodness, you surprised me so kindly that morning i woke from my nightmare drenched in the saltiest sweat all night i ran blind in the darkness, through trees that reached, over insects who whispered and hissed but in the new day's light i see clearly; i am not chased but held; breathe! Awake! I am with holy sightmy open eyes reveal the world: weary(ly hopeful), terrifying(ly

building a [library] and choosing so carefully

2010-12-28T18:58:00.000-08:00

if you don't know this about me already, hear me now: i am building a library. i want to die in a room filled with books. floor to ceiling books. i am on my way (to the library... and death, i suppose). for christmas, my dad got me the new york review of books subscription i mentioned earlier. yay! he also got me a bookshelf. YES! i really am running out of room. inspired and gripped by craving

book burning

2010-12-27T13:00:00.000-08:00

i have finished Night by Elie Weisel and i am better for it. its stark rhythm hypnotized me, and its witness to unbearable evil has seared my insides. never have i paused in reading a book simply to close my eyes and let the tears fall as i feebly try to fathom the gravity of content. the book is short and that is merciful. if you haven't read it, do. next on my winter reading list is My Name is

the Christmas tradition of paradox

2010-12-24T22:47:00.000-08:00

‘Twas the night before Christmas and I am finished wrapping presents at last. The fire is ablaze, and Sufjan’s bango deconstructs oft trite carols and hymns unto glory. Instead of snow, there’s rain, and instead of twinkle lights and angels, my home is filled with piles of laundry to be put away and dust bunnies to be swept – this season was too busy for spirit or chores, apparently. The

"i don't read" and "i'm kind of lesbian"

2010-12-22T18:50:00.000-08:00

conan o'brien reinterpretted barbara walters' interviews with sarah palin and oprah to great comedic effect. enjoy.

I WANT

2010-12-21T19:52:00.000-08:00

i am christmas shopping for others and all i can find are things I WANT. anthology magazine poetry subscription via ugly duckling presse apartamento magazine subscription new york review book club membership

night

2010-12-20T13:59:00.000-08:00

it is winter break. the clouds are gray, the fire is lit. yesterday, i caught up on chores, on life. and i am feeling good. i finally have enough time and space to read. "for pleasure" - yes, but no, not at all. i am reading elie weisel's night. i am but a few dozen pages in and i am weeping already. the harrowing events being recounted pound on my chest - and rightly so. i can't help but think

practice of poetry: entry #3

2010-12-19T23:37:00.000-08:00

(rhapsodizing repetitions) hunger churns inside my belly, my insides cry out empty cravings mount and dance and swirl, i am nothing but desire i plot and acquire, scheme and find follow the instructions line by line, step by step i make you mine the table is set, i am prepared my senses take you in, my nose and tongue anticipate you i finally have you in my mouth, you have silenced me

practice of poetry: entry #2

2010-12-19T23:18:00.000-08:00

(five easy pieces) her hands were skeletal, vascular, acrylic nails perfected. she was making tea in the kitchen, as she always used to do this time of night. i found the house was empty, save for her and the strangers whose voices blared through the TV speakers. "what are you doing home? i thought you moved out." "this is my house, and don't forget it."

practice of poetry: entry #1

2010-12-16T00:05:00.000-08:00

(ten-minute spill) standing on a precipice, I know I am, I know.Doom, you pend, you love itYou grip me in the shower, you expose meI choke, my fists are tight around youThe bind I’m in, the vows we’ve madeyou lured me in, i tastedI have decided.You keep me At night, i close the door, pull the blanket over my eyesI let no light in, and I sleep right through the madnessYou are in the room, written

lost in the fray

2010-12-15T20:20:00.000-08:00

i had the genuine pleasure of meeting isaac slade of the fray this weekend. he played a private concert at a nonprofit event i was at on sunday night. i normally don't share this kind of thing on my blog, but appreciation is welling up within me! not only was he a fantastic performer, but his wife anna performed with him and i fell in love with them - musically and as a couple. they were

fill in the blank hilarity...

2010-12-08T01:08:00.000-08:00

google auto-completes the simplest questions based on the most searched things. see how amazing(ly stupid) the googling population is: how would you... move mount figi? test a light bulb? describe yourself? characterize the 1950s? kill justin beiber? how do i... find my IP address? look? love thee? get a passport? know if I'm pregnant? get rid of fruit flies? unhide someone on facebook?

four random sentences processed and purged

2010-11-24T13:36:00.000-08:00

I have had the following four sentences in my Gmail "drafts" folder for nearly a year. I don't remember why I wrote them anymore, although I am sure they are notes/quotes from a sermon of some kind (is that you Dan Allender?). Anyhoo, I am longing for a clean inbox, and so I want to delete the message, but these notes are too good to disregard altogether. And so I thought I would share them

someone should pay me for this

2010-11-22T13:45:00.000-08:00

last night at 10:41, we realized that we hadn't eaten dinner. you know those nights… you are so absorbed in whatever project, so dissociated from your body that you find yourself past hungry into starving. so we decided to order pizza. pagliacci is our go-to pizza joint. their ingredients are fresh and seasonal, their customer service is outstanding. it doesn't get better - but it does get

elephant in the room

2010-11-16T21:19:00.000-08:00

sooo.... it's been over a month since i WROTE. and isn't writing the point of this whole charade of a blog? sure, i give myself full permission to share some cool video or a recipe that strikes my fancy. but the only reason my ego can handle keeping this ridiculous blog is in order to find and use my voice. i have no desire to fill the void or waste anyone's time with shenanegans and links. (

don draper says "what?"

2010-11-13T13:08:00.001-08:00

i don't know WHY this video is funny, i only know that it really is. enjoy!

procrastination sandwich

2010-11-06T20:05:00.000-07:00

i am supposed to be writing a paper. i apparently REALLY don't want to. i've done laundry, cleaned the toilet, organized my music, fussed with the printer, watched 30 rock… but no writing worth mentioning. enter stage right: crippling hunger. i surveyed the fresh goods in my possession and scoured all my most reliable food blogs. and yet… nothing. so i took to my imagination. Oh. My.

the exquisite book

2010-10-25T19:47:00.000-07:00

i recently stumbled on a brilliant book and i thought i'd share a snippet. it's a book of compiled illustrations by 100 artists. they are clustered into ten chapters and bleed together by sharing horizons. check this video out to understand what i mean. The Exquisite Book from ALSO on Vimeo. i just loved this project and, in looking through the pages, i picked out a few that i loved. i want

spatial ambition

2010-10-24T15:00:00.000-07:00

my style is decidedly modern. or at least that's what my home says. besides a handful of antique and rustic accents, i have created a minimalistic space rife with clean lines and a mostly monochromatic tonal structure. there are things in my heart that are not found by my eye. how do i reset my course? i want more odd-ball items, more quirk and character, more surprises. like these:

i have not seen my face in ten years

2010-10-23T23:18:00.000-07:00

this video is spectacular. it really makes me want to write more poetry to be read aloud. a snippet: "... women who will prowl 30 stores in 6 malls to find the right cocktail dress, but who haven't a clue where to find fulfillment or how to wear joy."

white blank page

2010-10-23T20:40:00.000-07:00

as i sit here staring at a blinking cursor, trying to write a paper i sincerely dread, this song feels an appropriate distraction. white blank page, by mumford & sons. and yes, i am seeing them in concert tomorrow night. there is a light at the end of this tunnel! here i come.

self-care at its finest.

2010-10-23T20:32:00.000-07:00

we interrupt the normal (paper-writing) broadcast to bring you this special (delicious) message. sandwich of my soul--- brioche smoked turkey fresh figs baby arugula beecher's flagship cheese ---broiled to gooey perfection. chased with a two-bite coconut macaroon. uh huh. praise God for taste buds and whole foods and seratonin.

ugh

2010-10-22T12:36:00.000-07:00

… Writing a six page paper that addresses the history of my sexual development, answering the question of who I have become as a woman in response to my sexual history… KILL ME NOW.

discovery!

2010-10-16T21:22:00.000-07:00

if you like ffffound! or imgspark -- you will LOVE pinterest. it's a collection of images - design, fashion, and general loveliness. maybe i'm late to the game or maybe i am revolutionizing your life. that's all.

bottle

2010-10-10T11:24:00.001-07:00

this is perhaps one of the sweetest, tenderest, most heartbreaking love stories i've ever seen. it's a must-watch.

safety vs. goodness

2010-10-02T13:01:00.000-07:00

sometimes i wonder if i am playing with fire. what is the value, really, in pursuing answers to such dangerous questions about God, the craziness of relationships, my own history and emotional experience, vocational calling, community and other mysteries? aren't there some questions that aren't worth asking, some secrets not worth uncovering, some paths not worth walking down, some risks not

disturbance at the monster ball

2010-10-02T11:46:00.000-07:00

on august 21, i went to lady gaga's monster ball concert. having seen her show a year ealier at a smaller venue, i felt relatively prepared for the kind of show she puts on. i wasn't. already in lady gaga's short career in pop music/culture, she has evolved considerably. in a few ways, this is a compliment. her show was more performance art than musical concert - it was a fabulous spectacle. as

flavors of the week

2010-10-01T14:47:00.000-07:00

here's what's on my mind... loveloveloving this - craving this - starbucks double tall soy no whip pumpkin spice latte blown away by this - thoroughly impressed with this - happy hour at moshi moshi as always, crazy in love with these two - could always use one of these - just got these - Frye 'Shirley' Riding Boots can't stop listening to this - want to see this - so excited to go

you are the blood

2010-09-27T15:56:00.000-07:00

i am on a full-fledged sufjan stevens kick right now. between this and this and this, i am getting more than my long-awaited fill. in honor of the sufjan season, you have to hear this track. it was part of an AIDS benefit compilation (which is entirely amazing) called "dark was the night". everything about this song blows my mind. enjoy. You are the blood flowing through my fingers All

today's notes

2010-09-19T13:06:00.000-07:00

dear laundry,i thought you'd get the message by now, but I AM AVOIDING YOU. dear sufjan,i can't wait to see you. one month! dear seattle weather,you seem a little moody today, how you feeling? dear egg salad,i really want to eat you, but i wish you'd make yourself. you are kind of high maintenance. dear research for my sexual disorders class,you disgust me. sorry. dear spaghetti factory,thank

already/not yet

2010-09-17T16:37:00.000-07:00

hungry hungry hippos

2010-09-16T17:45:00.000-07:00

things i want to eat. right. now. burger, fries w/ ranch, milkshake shrimp scampi, white wine margherita pizza w/ sausage, gin & tonic southwestern omelet, bloody mary grilled sandwich w/ turkey, swiss, tomato, avocado and bacon, san pellegrino aranciata steak, truffle mashed potatoes, sauteed spinach, red wine gourmet mac & cheese w/ tomatoes, rose wine how do i settle on just one glorious

the point of tears

2010-09-15T00:31:00.000-07:00

Live to the point of tears. --Albert Camus i have always considered myself an "emotional" person. my favorite movies and TV shows are dramas. i listen to music that some may describe as weepy. it has not been a rare sight to find me in tears, at this or that thing. often, it would take a pretty strong emotion to make me cry - i.e., anger, desperation, frustration. lately, that has been

dogs are poets too

2010-09-12T02:29:00.000-07:00

"Anyone who has joined a dog in a tug-of-war over an old sneaker, and has let the shoe go, knows what follows - he trots back. Mutual tugging is what he desires, not the shoe. The same dog appreciates the essential delight of keep-away played with a sock (doesn't want to keep the sock), and his heart warms to go-fetch - the improbably joyous celebration of making an object go exactly nowhere.

concert tonight: the national

2010-09-12T01:31:00.000-07:00

Amen.

2010-09-12T01:17:00.000-07:00

May God bless us with discomfort at easy answers, half-truths, and superficial relationships so that we may live from deep within our hearts. May God bless us with anger at injustice, oppression, and exploitation of God’s creations so that we may work for justice, freedom, and peace. May God bless us with tears to shed for those who suffer pain, rejection, hunger, and war, so that we may reach